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Former Osama bin Laden Translator Requests LeBron James Apologize To Cleveland

On the scale of truly sinister people in the world, LeBron James ranks very low, if at all (even for Clevelanders). Terrorists, however, represent unquestionable real-world evil even for the most obsessed sports fans who are still mad at LeBron for leaving. Somehow, those two parties were intermixed in a truly bizarre item from USA Today.

Apparently, Osama bin Laden's former translator, who is currently jailed in Guantanomo Bay, sent a note to his lawyer stating that LeBron James was a bad man who needed to apologize to the city of Cleveland. Of all things, Muhammed Rahim has requested a cat and an LBJ apology in a register of complaints. Quotes after the jump:

Via Adi Joseph of USA Today:

"Dear Mr. Warner!" he wrote in a separate freshly declassified letter. "Lebron James is very bad man. He should apologize to the city of Cleveland."

Warner says Rahim's sentiment about the NBA star who left the Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat reflects his client's tribal values, in which loyalty is paramount and "betrayals are not tolerated or forgiven, although an honest apology from an offending peer is valued."

So weird.

Photographs by spatulated, Triple Tri, and chrischappelear used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.