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NBA Lockout: Kyrie Irving The 'Draft Prospect Most Prepared To Play 0 Games,' Says McSweeney's

Heading into the 2011 NBA Draft, there was no doubt the Cleveland Cavaliers would use the first overall pick on Duke point guard Kyrie Irving, the draft's consensus top prospect. But Chris Grace of McSweeney's Internet Tendency has taken the time since the NBA lockout began over a month ago to revisit the potential of all the lottery picks from this year's Draft, viewing their skill-sets through the prism of the lockout. It's a conceit that produces hilarious results.


For instance, Grace notes Irving made "only 11 starts in college," which in turn makes him the "draft prospect most prepared to play 0 games." If that analysis seems facile to you, remember that McSweeney's is a literary journal, and its lists are meant to be funny.


Perhaps Grace's capsule for Texas power forward Tristan Thompson, whom the Cavs selected fourth overall, is even funnier:


Polished post game, can score with either hand. Undersized for power forward position, although oversized for someone unable to play professional basketball. Best comparison: Moses Malone in his prime. Worst comparison: Moses Malone in his Barcalounger.


Every entry in Grace's list is funny because it's true. And if we can't at least have a chuckle at the sad reality that we might lose this NBA season, well, the lockout is only going to seem that much longer.


Fear The Sword is your source for complete Cavaliers coverage. Also visit SB Nation's NBA hub for everything on the lockout and more.

Photographs by spatulated, Triple Tri, and chrischappelear used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.